We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
