Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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