I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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