i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Can I color on your dick again?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
