now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
