Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
