my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
