yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
