It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
you never un-have a 4some
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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