She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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