Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
