I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
did i just pee glitter
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
