it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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