I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
