i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
