can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
