So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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