y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Randomize
