Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
