I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
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