All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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