Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
