Me. At least after what I've been through.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
