i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
