So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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