I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
