is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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