were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
