No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
