Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
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