He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
