FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
