then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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