oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Randomize
