So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize