I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
