I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
