so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
We named our party play list daddy issues
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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