Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
