He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize