What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
