Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
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