We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
