You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
