everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
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