make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
