It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
