he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
