Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
