Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
