ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
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