My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Hello my rib-scented angel!
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
