good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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