At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
