Do you still have your period?
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
Randomize
