ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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