i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
