We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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