Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I am midnight drunk by noon
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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