Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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