all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
