OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize