And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
