thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
