she was so not down for the gang bang
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
