Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
should my penis look like a turkey
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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