nut hugger
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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