So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
