Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
only you would photoshop your dick
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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