He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
