guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
We don't watch enough power rangers
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
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