end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Randomize
