Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
