That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
