Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
