where am i from again
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Randomize
