this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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