My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
