last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
