too bad you live with your parents still
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Randomize
