guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
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