this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
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