I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize
