i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
